The Best Laid Plans

Anytime a person makes the decision to change something about themselves they become vulnerable.

Just the way it is. I didn’t make that up.

Every little thing seems to make its way to the surface. I used to make fun of all the crying that took place on the Biggest Loser. Don’t get me wrong… I still make fun of The Biggest Loser… just not the crying anymore.

“But Dave, why the hell are you making fun of a show that does so much good?” You ask.

Well, the next time you watch it – when they’re heavy that is – watch what happens when one of them falls. The camera is given a shake to make it look like the ground has moved. Classic comedy, right? Wrong. That small, minute act deflates – in my mind – much of the good of that show. It is that shake of the camera that objectifies its contestants, it says to the audience “look at this fat goofy bastard, he/she fell. How hilarious is that?”

But I digress.

When you struggle weight/food issues, the process of change is immensely emotional. And the climb out can be frustrating. If you’re not prepared, or strong enough at the time, it can really knock you out of momentum.

I remember one time – and this is back when I thought not eating carbs was the way and the light – I was at a work function, and a coworker pulled me aside and said they wished to discuss something with me.

At this time I had been in the low carb world for a few weeks, I may have lost close to 20 pounds. I was on a roll, and the wind was at my sails.

After stepping onto the back deck of the facility the coworker proceeded to tell me that I could really benefit from gastric bypass surgery, and that I should get my name on the list while it was “manageable”.

That short two-minute chat was enough to knock me off my roll. And it sent me back to the other end of the continuum in short order.

For years, I blamed the coworker for that, but I’ve learned that it wasn’t all her fault. I mean, don’t get me wrong this coworker was a  tool for saying it, but I should have been strong enough to handle that wrinkle. And I wasn’t. And furthermore, in retrospect, I’m sure this coworker had the best of intentions.

Truth is, nothing can prepare you for the skeletons you’ll face during any kind of change. Stuff will pop out from every nook and cranny.

My weight has thread in every seam of my life. It impacts everything. Confidence, socializing, my sleep – everything.

The reason many people with addictions comply with their urges is to fill a void. And once you take the comfort of addiction away that void will open up and stare you in the face.

How do you handle it?

You need a plan. Plain and simple. Without it, the void will usually win.

So, I’ve taken these past few months to put a plan in place. I’m still working on it. For me it has to be foolproof.

And, when it comes to being knocked off your roll. The tendency for many people is to give in. But you shouldn’t be dismayed. Even if you try and fail a few times. You’ve at least made the effort to change your pattern of behavior. And eventually, all of that practice will pay off.

I’m very fortunate to be surrounded by wonderful people. Supportive voices are all around me. From my workplace to my private life. And it all helps.

You cannot control the misguided advice of others. But, you can control how you react to it. How you process it.

I’m one month into the healthy food component of this voyage, and I’m 20 pounds down. I’ve got a long way to go, but I’m 20 pounds closer than I was a month ago. And that, to me, is a hell of a thing.

5 thoughts on “The Best Laid Plans

  1. Keep going! I am on a similar mission! I know that the journey can be difficult but you will have a lot of victories along the way! A few weeks ago I crossed my legs for the first time in years!!

    Way to go on your efforts!!! One of the things I think about when I am faced with those situations when I just wanna be bad and eat and eat is that if I do I am robbing myself of time and health!!!

  2. Dave, I am following/rooting for you. Leaving yourself vulnerable as you are doing is a pastime of mine. I love it and I hate it about myself. Many times, and think, oh just stop putting it out there, but the reality is I cannot be that person and the mere act of being exposed renders so much personal power which bleeds out to others. Thank you for sharing your journey, warts and all. You can do whatever you set your mind to….

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