A year ago today I was 415 pounds and scared half to death of what lay ahead. I slept with my cell phone tucked under my arm in case I needed to make a call to 911. I worried about things like leaving the door unlocked so the EMT’s could come and get me.
I lived in constant fear of what my weight might do to me.
I knew the path I was on was a dark one. But sometimes, you tend to flounder around in there because that’s where you feel the safest.
Emerging from that dungeon has been a lot of hard work. It’s taken dedication and commitment that I never thought I had.
But I’ve not done it alone.
I’m writing this today to thank those around me who have helped me get to this point. My partner Caitlin has inspired me to be better, to ask questions, to challenge myself.
Last November, she said “have you ever thought of writing any of this down? Maybe it might help?” That question upset me. I reacted childishly, “no, alright, I can’t. Some things aren’t meant to be written”.
As it turns out, some things need to be written.
This foray into honesty with not only the world around me, but myself, is all thanks in part to that challenge by Caitlin.
She’s a pretty special lady (God knows, she has to be to contend with a fella like me).
I never dreamed in a million years that anyone would actually read this blog. But as it turns out, people have. Which lead to the CBC Radio column, thanks to producer Heather Barrett — which has lead to all kinds of emails, and stories, and opportunities yet to come.
To the friends, family and strangers that have read this blog, listened to the column, commented on an entry, stopped me in line at Costco, or sent me Facebook messages and tweets — it has meant more to me than you will ever know.
The web of support that surrounds me is immense.
And that web of support is what’s going to launch me into 2015 with nothing but fire in my eyes.
A year ago, I was headed for certain death, and the thought of losing 180 pounds seemed pretty much impossible. And now — some 95 pounds later — impossible is the farthest thing from my mind.
I owe much of that to all of you.