Synonyms For Forgiveness

Feel free to listen to the audio, or read along if you like.

 

This one is for the attackers.

The grown men and young boys

Who took it upon themselves

To chip away at me as if I was a block of ice.

These are the fissure kings.

Cracking crevices and calamity.

Synonyms for calamity:

Collapse.

Hardship.

Misfortune.

Woe.

Downfall.

Ruin.

As in, “ruin your relationships,”

Or, “ruin your life”.

Regardless of the word,

None of it would be apparent

Until thirty years after the fact.

 

This is for the heartless ones.

The ones who sat smiling

Grinning like Cheshire

Laughing like loons

Nothing funnier than tears.

Gut busting.

Laugh out loud.

Laugh my ass off

Roll on the floor laughing.

Comedy gold in your pain.

Mined relentlessly.

Synonyms for relentless:

Fierce.

Harsh.

Ruthless.

Grim.

Unforgiving.

As in, “Unforgiving like the broken crack of your smiles,”

Or, “the mob was unforgiving in their rampage over the boy.”

I can still see the squint of your eyes.

Still glimmering in my afterthought.

In my dreams.

The ones I have during the day,

And the ones I run from at night.

 

This is for the teachers.

The ones who sat back and watched

But didn’t intervene because “hey, it’s recess.”

“Hey, it’s lunchtime.”

“Hey, it’s only language.“

“How bad can it be?”

“It’s not like he’s bloodied.”

But I am.

Beaten senseless by nouns

Kicked in the guts with adjectives

Stabbed in the heart with verbs.

Left to twitch.

Synonyms for twitch:

Jerk.

Shudder.

Pain.

Snap.

“Snap, like a twig beneath the weight of a boot.”

“Snap, like a mind beneath the weight of a mob.”

 

This one’s for the kids who knew better.

The two boys on a street called Ferryland

Who held me down as another used me for a toilet.

This is for you.

This is for how years later you would add me as a friend.

Synonyms for friend:

Companion.

Buddy.

Pal.

Cohort.

Bro.

Mate.

Crony.

Comrade.

Chum.

As in “there’s chum in the water”.

As in “it’s a feeding frenzy and you’re holding dinner steady, chum.”

Hands wrapped around my arms,

Tight grip, empty eyes.

Then approaches the enemy.

Synonyms for enemy:

Adversary.

Traitor.

Antagonist.

Bandit.

Opponent.

Rival.

Villain.

Invader.

And invade he would.

Three decades of thoughts

Whiz banging around in my brain.

Images popping up unwanted.

Smells. Memories. Sounds.

Invasion never sleeps.

 

This is for the soldiers.

We have some things in common you and I.

Though I’ve not fought in a war,

I carry with me some of the same scars.

Sleepless nights. Intrusive thoughts.

Loneliness.

Frailty.

Synonyms for frailty:

Fallibility.

Shortcoming.

Feeble.

Defect.

Failing.

As in “you are failing to be normal”.

Or, “you are failing those you love.”

 

This is for those I love and have loved.

It wasn’t me who hurt you.

It was the scars.

They only seek to protect.

Synonyms for protect:

Assure.

Secure.

Insulate.

Preserve.

Save.

Shield.

Stonewall.

As in, “I stonewalled everyone out of my life.”

Or, “my love is like a stonewall. Hard to break through and to understand.”

In seeking protection, I’ve caused damage.

Synonyms for damage:

Bruise.

Casualty.

Destruction.

Catastrophe.

Devastation.

Harm.

As in, “I never meant any harm.”

Or, “Harm was the last thing I wanted for you.”

 

This is for forgiveness.

The holy grail of my life.

The seemingly unattainable.

Synonyms for unattainable:

Distant.

Impassable.

Unreachable.

Aloof.

“Aloof, like my heart is.”

“Aloof, like my mind has been.”

Every day I send out a search party for it.

Hounds and men with lights scour my subconscious,

And every night they return empty handed.

But as long as I draw breath I will continue to send them into the woods.

Because without it, there is no life.

Synonyms for life:

Heart.

Soul.

Breath.

Being.

As in, “being allowed to forgive myself.”

Or, “Being capable of forgiving others.”

Every day the search party grows a little larger.

And I hope, that one day,

They return with hands full of forgiveness.

 

10 thoughts on “Synonyms For Forgiveness

  1. Wow! Do you do motivational speeches for schools? You really should. I enjoy your writing very much. (A retired teacher…who didn’t stand by.)

  2. As someone who took her fair share on the playground
    and at home
    and fought back and turned the tables
    and by doing so likely caused my fair share of pain to people who didn’t deserve it.
    I am sorry.

    Thanks Dave for doing battle so publicly. Your writing resonates.

  3. Dave, so great to hear this voice, on so many levels.

    My men and dogs scour for “purpose” but continue to return only with bags of love and forgiveness which I already have an excess of. Wish we could share from each other’s bags. Sending you some of the finest from my pile,
    Diana 😊

    Sending

  4. i wonder if you have actually tried getting therapy. CBT mindfulness, trauma research, impulsivity, ‘budda’s brain is a great book’ maybe find ways to not be so inwardly focused. nice writing for sure. its interesting how popular your writing is. Seems you are content to whine poetically. id say use your popularity to inspire instead of evoking pity. im sure you will hide this comment. that be gutless. 🙂

    1. HI Dan,

      I’ve been receiving therapy on and off for the past four years. I’m sorry if the “whining” bothers you. Feel free to avoid it. I do, however, appreciate you listening and reading along, and I do appreciate the book reco.

      I have reached out to Dr. Stephen Hayes who is a leader in Acceptance Therapy. We’ve shared emails back and forth. He was once in NL.

      I would appreciate knowing who you are as well. Feel free to put your full name on criticisms, so we can have a fair and balanced discussion.

      Thank you again for reading and/or listening. Have a great day.

      1. Also, Dan, your email shows up when you comment. So, I know who you are — I’m not going to shame you, don’t worry. I know you’re not keen on me because of the last project we worked on, and my role was to make sure that people were respectful to one another. You had some issues with that. I hold noting against you for that. We all have hard times in our lives. I get it.

        If you ever want to talk about this stuff in person I’d love to chat with you.

        Thanks
        Dave

  5. The eloquent way you put things Dave, always creates pause. As I read your musings, it makes me reflect not just on my own experience, but on what I should also do as I continue to work with my students.

    I also agree with the retired teacher who commented earlier. I think you would be wonderful speaking with young people.

    Cheers

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